


Good For You

by telperion_15



Category: Primeval
Genre: Food Sex, Kitchen Sex, M/M, Misuse of Cucumbers, Not quite a dildo, Plot What Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-01
Updated: 2012-02-01
Packaged: 2017-10-30 11:42:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/331376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/telperion_15/pseuds/telperion_15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lester proves to Connor that salad is not as boring as it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good For You

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for a prompt from fredbassett: 'Connor/Lester, cucumber'.

Connor sighed as he stared into Lester’s fridge. His boss had clearly never heard of junk food – there wasn’t a frozen pizza or an oven chip in sight. Instead it was full of healthy stuff, with fruit and veg playing a disturbingly large part.  
  
Sighing again, Connor bent and peered in, hoping to spy something he would class as edible at the back of one of the shelves.  
  
“Temple! What are you doing?”  
  
Connor jumped in surprise, and then turned to face Lester. Resolutely, he told himself not to feel guilty. He lived here too now – even contributed to the rent and housekeeping, although he was realising that he needed to have a word with his landlord about what that housekeeping was spent on when it came to food. If he could summon up the courage.  
  
“I’m hungry,” he said, knowing he sounded like he was whining.  
  
“Oh, for heaven’s sake…” Lester rolled his eyes, and then pointed to the kitchen table. “Sit down.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I said sit down. Have you suddenly developed a hearing impediment that means you don’t understand English any more?”  
  
Connor sat down, still bemused, and then watched as Lester started pulling things out of the fridge. “What are you doing?”  
  
“Making lunch, what does it look like?” Lester replied, piling what looked like the ingredients of a salad on the worktop.  
  
Connor made an involuntary noise of dissatisfaction. He hated salad.  
  
Lester looked at him. “What’s the matter now?”  
  
Connor didn’t reply. It was safer that way.  
  
But Lester seemed to have worked it out, nonetheless. “Ah, have a problem with green things, do we?” he asked rhetorically. “I should have known that if it wasn’t full of fat and sugar you wouldn’t want to know.” He narrowed his eyes. “Come here.”  
  
“But you just told me to sit…”  
  
“Come _here_ , I said,” Lester snapped, and Connor quickly scrambled to his feet and went to stand next to the other man.  
  
“I,” said Lester sternly, “am going to prove to you that salad is not boring, and can even be quite a pleasurable foodstuff.”  
  
“Okay…” said Connor, remaining unconvinced.  
  
Lester picked something up from the worktop and waved it in Connor’s face. It was a large cucumber, shrink-wrapped in plastic. “What is this?”  
  
“It’s a cucumber,” replied Connor cautiously, wondering if it was a trick question.  
  
“Very good, Temple. Now, watch.”  
  
Lester proceeded to select a knife from the block and slit open the plastic. Connor swallowed as Lester’s hand pulled the wrapping away from the cucumber, sliding along practically the whole length of the vegetable until he had stripped the whole lot away. Christ, it had been too long since he’d had a wank, if he was getting turned on by _that_.  
  
He thought Lester would start chopping up the cucumber next, but instead Lester went to the fridge again and brought out a bottle of what looked like salad dressing.  
  
“Now, I’ll admit that cucumber can be a bit bland,” Lester said. “But I always find that a good dressing livens it up nicely.” He unscrewed the lid of the bottle, and started drizzling the oily dressing over the cucumber, smoothing it over the green skin and making sure to coat it thoroughly.  
  
Connor gulped again. “Aren’t…aren’t you going to chop it up first?” he asked, suddenly finding it difficult to force the words out.  
  
“That would make it useless for the purpose,” Lester told him.  
  
“And what purpose is that?”  
  
“Like I said – proving that salad can have its uses. _Exciting_ uses.” Lester looked him up and down. “Drop your trousers, Temple.”  
  
“What?” Connor yelped.  
  
“You heard me.”  
  
“But…but…”  
  
“Drop. Your. Trousers.”  
  
Connor thought about protesting some more, he really did. But there was no denying how tight his trousers currently felt, and the effect Lester’s actions had already had. So, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on a clear patch of worktop in front of him, he unbuckled his belt, undid his fly, and pushed his trousers and boxers down.  
  
“Good,” said Lester approvingly. “Now, spread your legs, as much as you can.”  
  
As he complied, Connor felt his breath start to come in shorter, sharper pants. His cock was still hard, despite his embarrassment, and he found himself shivering slightly in not wholly unpleasant anticipation.  
  
He jumped as he suddenly felt a cold trickle start at the top of arse, sliding along his crack. He hadn’t noticed Lester picking up the bottle again, and when his eyes darted to the left, he realised the cucumber was gone too.  
  
“Just relax, Temple,” Lester said, somewhere behind him. His voice was commanding, and yet somehow soothing at the same time, and Connor found he was able to relax, just a little bit.  
  
The sensation of fingers spreading his buttocks was a bigger shock than the impromptu lubrication had been. But the sudden tension that flowed back into his body was almost immediately diffused when something started rubbing against the sensitive skin there, slipping and sliding in the oily liquid. It felt good, really good, and he moaned out his appreciation.  
  
Lester chuckled, a sound that Connor didn’t think he’d ever heard the man make before. “See?” Lester sounded smug. “I told you.”  
  
But before Connor could think of a witty comeback (not that snappy repartee had ever been his strong point, even when he _wasn’t_ in embarrassingly compromising positions), the pressure suddenly stopped sliding against his hole, and started pressing _into_ it.  
  
He sucked in a sharp breath. The cucumber was sliding into him easily, thanks to the oil coating it (and the thought of that should absolutely _not_ be turning him on as much as it was), but it still felt huge. Connor had never had anything up his arse larger than his own finger, and that had only been once, when he’d tried it to see what it would be like, and hadn’t exactly been able to work out what all the fuss was about.  
  
But this felt like it was splitting him in two, skewering him, stuffing him absolutely full.  
  
It should have hurt – and it kind of did, in a way. It definitely felt weird, and the idea that it was _Lester_ doing this was even weirder. But all that didn’t stop the frankly filthy groan that came out of Connor mouth as the cucumber slid deeper inside, stretching and filling him.  
  
“I bet you’re a fan of salad now, yes?” Lester said conversationally.  
  
Connor nodded jerkily. “Please…”  
  
“Oh, you’re begging for it now, are you? I’m happy to see that your opinion has changed so comprehensively.”  
  
Connor groaned as the intrusion inside him started to thrust. Bloody hell, it really had been too long since he’d had a wank – he knew he wasn’t going to last, the feeling in his arse foreign, but very, _very_ good.  
  
Blindly, he reached out and swiped his hand through a pool of the dressing that had collected on the worktop, and then curled it around his aching cock, the oil easing his movements as he furiously worked himself.  
  
And image popped into his head of what he must look like – trousers and boxers round his knees, fist pumping at his cock as Lester (Lester!) fucked him with cucumber (a cucumber!). The vision should have been ridiculous, but instead it made Connor groan with arousal, and then suddenly he was coming, the continuing sensation of the thick, hard length in his arse setting off sparks behind his eyes, until suddenly it was too much, and he was begging again, this time for Lester to stop.  
  
The thrusting movement stopped, but the cucumber remained inside him, keeping him stretched open and full.  
  
“I hope you’ve learned your lesson, Temple,” Lester said behind him. “You see now that the healthy stuff really can be good for you.”  
  
His voice sounded like it was getting further away as he continued talking. “I’ve decided I’m going to go out for lunch,” he announced, obviously on his way out of the door. “I’ll leave you to clean up the mess, Temple.”  
  
Connor whimpered.


End file.
